“Even if the healing doesn’t come and life falls apart and dreams are still undone. You are God, you are good, forever faithful one.  Even if the healing doesn’t come.  Lord we know our ways are not our ways, So we set our faith in who you are.  Even though you reign high above us, you tenderly love us.  We know your heart and we rest in who you are.  Even if the healing doesn’t come and life falls apart and dreams are still undone. you are God, you are good, forever faithful one, even if the healing doesn’t come. You’re still the great and mighty one, we trust you always. you’re working all things for our good. we’ll sing your praise, even if the healing doesn’t come and life falls apart and dreams are still undone. You are God you are good, forever faithful one. Even if the healing doesn’t come.”  –  Kutless “Even If”

     This is one of the hardest things for me to accept. I don’t want to live the rest of my life this way. I’ve prayed so long for a healing to come, but there comes a time when you must accept that even if the healing doesn’t come that God is still God, He is just as powerful as ever and He is working all things out for our good. Even though It’s really disguised some times.

     I went to Doernbechers to see the neurologist who I have waited a year and a half to see. I was told that this my next step and he’s the one with answers, but when we got there he said flat-out in an almost joyful voice “I don’t know why you waited a year to see me. I’m not the person to see”. I then started to lightly cry and the doctors bubbly,smiley personality faded a little. He seemed so happy when he said that to me, that it made me lose it. I’m embarrassed to admit it, but I did.  How could he smile while telling me some of the worst news ever! I was SO mad ’till I remembered the verse Romans 8:28 “And we know that all things work together for good for those who love God and are called according to His purpose.”  Accepting that even if the healing doesn’t come that you will be OK is one of the hardest things. I will always want to be some-what healthy, but I can now finally proclaim that even if the healing I have prayed so long for never comes I will be OK. God will work every thing out for good for those who love Him with all there hearts. I know for a fact that every thing is working out for good. God is making beauty from my pain and knowing that, I can put my trust in Him alone…:)

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